Ok. Tired. Almost 5AM. Brother's compulsive need for television woke me up from the sleep meant to cure my mental, physical, emotional fatigue and illness...cure light wounds, cure deep wounds... but... Awake. Now I am Awake.
Just how this is possible is not actually possible to comprehend. So tired. In fact, must make me more miserable than I've been in a while. Sick. So sick. And tired. I am sick and tired. I am expired. And yet... I am Awake.
Evil Awake.
Hate you.
Hate this place.
Not mine, not even my face.
This face, too faux, a faux face screaming of awareness...screaming Awake.
I am not Awake.
I am miserable.
On Autopilot.
Not Awake.
Six years old not 21.
See?
Faux face.
Sick and tired and sick and sick and sick. Bit the bullet and it blew off my tongue, blew up my mouth, blew me into a faux Awake.
Glad to have let you in on this state.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Oh my god...figures. xD
Your result for The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test...
Outcast Genius
70 % Nerd, 61% Geek, 57% Dork
For The Record:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius.
Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject).
Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius.
Congratulations!
Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Professional Wrestling
Love & Sexuality
America/Politics
Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius.
Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject).
Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius.
Congratulations!
Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Professional Wrestling
Love & Sexuality
America/Politics
Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST
Friday, April 24, 2009
I knew I'd be the lesbian...
Your result for The 4-Variable Buffy Personality Test...
Tara Maclay
45% amorality, 45% passion, 100% spirituality, 64% selflessness
What a woman! (Or man, as it may be...)
Tara is a moral, centered, spiritual and selfless person... rather, I suspect, like you. People like this make those around them love them.
Congratulations! (and stay away from windows, just in case)
If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:
Nerds, Geeks & Dorks
Professional Wrestling
Love & Sexuality
America/Politics
Thanks Again! -- THE 4-VARIABLE BUFFY PERSONALITY TEST
Tara is a moral, centered, spiritual and selfless person... rather, I suspect, like you. People like this make those around them love them.
Congratulations! (and stay away from windows, just in case)
If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:
Nerds, Geeks & Dorks
Professional Wrestling
Love & Sexuality
America/Politics
Thanks Again! -- THE 4-VARIABLE BUFFY PERSONALITY TEST
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Screw you, Scooby Doo!
So tonight I was comforting my little cousin who had gotten hurt pretty badly "Play Fighting" on a trampoline, and as he became more calm, we turned on the t.v. to cartoon network. Now, seriously, there are a thousand and twelve things about children's television that bother the hell out of me, and I've decided to start speaking out about them when they catch my attention.
Tonight, well, we were watching some Scooby Doo movie butchering the retro 70s animation with computerized technology called Scooby Doo and the Samurai Sword. Typically, Scooby Doo is not really my preferred cartoon, however it proves better than go-to fart jokes and repetitive nonsense repeating itself so rather than voicing a vociferous protest, I decided that I was lucky.
I was wrong.
First, I was disturbed by the dehumanization of a man, tied up to a post and acting like a dog. It's not that I lack humor but it seriously made me stop and go "What the fuck!?" I don't know what society could possibly have against large brutish bald men but apparently they've been demoted to attack dog. Maybe that's what bothers me so much, everywhere I look it's like these kids are being promoted to be violent and sexist, and here a cartoon is showing me in living color how the government sees many of the young boys watching that very show: ready and willing to take orders blindly and attack on command.
I guess the subtlety of the imagery is what kind of turned my stomach. It just didn't set well with me and it made me deeply sorry that my already accident-prone and constantly injured 6 year old cousin is being fed this kind of brutal propaganda.
But that's not all.
After being commemorated and highly praised for "displaying the heart of a champion," and defeating "the mighty Sojo" (or something like that...), Daphne Blake (who is rocking the image of a woman capable of taking care of herself) is called on to fight another highly capable (and obviously well-trained) woman who had accompanied the gang earlier in the movie. As they both test their skill against the other in a grueling kung fu match, the movie cuts to Shaggy and Scooby, who are watching from the sidelines.
"Like, meeeoooow! Talk about a 'kung fu catfight,'[I assume this to be some sort of clever allusion to some established pop-culture point of view]huh?!" Shaggy asks Scooby with exaggerated arm movements, to which his dog obligingly replies;
"Meeeoow!"
Are they serious?
After seeing this, I became instantly disgusted. I don't know how they manage to justify dragging a serious kung fu match between two experienced and skilled women (whether cartoons or not!) down to the level of "cat fight." It's so degrading! Do you think that if Fred were battling the behemoth that Daphne defeated that there would be time for snide comments, or would the audience be left enraptured by his cunning skill and fueling his bravado by taking his match completely seriously? Would Shaggy be saying to Scooby, "Hey, Fred's ascot seems to be a little tight tonight, he's picking fights with all the wrong guys! He's such a sucker for a good cat fight!" No! They would be rooting him on, no fail, and promoting his display of masculinity...not belittling his achievements and meowing suggestively.
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF... it ends with Daphne's hair band being pulled out and her hair inhibiting her performance. They're not even being subtle now. It's blatantly suggesting that if you pit a skilled woman against a skilled woman, they're still going to resort to hair-pulling!
The world is a clusterfuck, and somehow, Scooby Doo made my shitlist.
Tonight, well, we were watching some Scooby Doo movie butchering the retro 70s animation with computerized technology called Scooby Doo and the Samurai Sword. Typically, Scooby Doo is not really my preferred cartoon, however it proves better than go-to fart jokes and repetitive nonsense repeating itself so rather than voicing a vociferous protest, I decided that I was lucky.
I was wrong.
First, I was disturbed by the dehumanization of a man, tied up to a post and acting like a dog. It's not that I lack humor but it seriously made me stop and go "What the fuck!?" I don't know what society could possibly have against large brutish bald men but apparently they've been demoted to attack dog. Maybe that's what bothers me so much, everywhere I look it's like these kids are being promoted to be violent and sexist, and here a cartoon is showing me in living color how the government sees many of the young boys watching that very show: ready and willing to take orders blindly and attack on command.
I guess the subtlety of the imagery is what kind of turned my stomach. It just didn't set well with me and it made me deeply sorry that my already accident-prone and constantly injured 6 year old cousin is being fed this kind of brutal propaganda.
But that's not all.
After being commemorated and highly praised for "displaying the heart of a champion," and defeating "the mighty Sojo" (or something like that...), Daphne Blake (who is rocking the image of a woman capable of taking care of herself) is called on to fight another highly capable (and obviously well-trained) woman who had accompanied the gang earlier in the movie. As they both test their skill against the other in a grueling kung fu match, the movie cuts to Shaggy and Scooby, who are watching from the sidelines.
"Like, meeeoooow! Talk about a 'kung fu catfight,'[I assume this to be some sort of clever allusion to some established pop-culture point of view]huh?!" Shaggy asks Scooby with exaggerated arm movements, to which his dog obligingly replies;
"Meeeoow!"
Are they serious?
After seeing this, I became instantly disgusted. I don't know how they manage to justify dragging a serious kung fu match between two experienced and skilled women (whether cartoons or not!) down to the level of "cat fight." It's so degrading! Do you think that if Fred were battling the behemoth that Daphne defeated that there would be time for snide comments, or would the audience be left enraptured by his cunning skill and fueling his bravado by taking his match completely seriously? Would Shaggy be saying to Scooby, "Hey, Fred's ascot seems to be a little tight tonight, he's picking fights with all the wrong guys! He's such a sucker for a good cat fight!" No! They would be rooting him on, no fail, and promoting his display of masculinity...not belittling his achievements and meowing suggestively.
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF... it ends with Daphne's hair band being pulled out and her hair inhibiting her performance. They're not even being subtle now. It's blatantly suggesting that if you pit a skilled woman against a skilled woman, they're still going to resort to hair-pulling!
The world is a clusterfuck, and somehow, Scooby Doo made my shitlist.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Human Trafficking
Lately I've been feeling very numb inside, as I'm sure many of you guys know. I've taken it out on friends and family, and I have become regretful of this. But I have stumbled upon a topic that has helped me start feeling again... what exactly these feelings are is hard to describe... it's a mixture of pain, empathy, love, helplessness, and hope.
At any rate, I have learned that worldwide, 27 million people are victims of human trafficking. Now, if you're like the average American, these words are probably just a convenient label for an atrocity you'll never have to face and so dismiss it as unfortunate but not your problem. You hear it in the news, tune out and that's the end of it.
But do me a favor and just imagine how you would feel if these women and children who are exploited, raped, and beaten were women and children in your lives that you cared about. What if it was your mother? Your sister? Your daughter? Aunt, grandmother, best friend? What if it was you?
Approximately half of the people who are on the receiving end of these terrors are under the age of 18. They're still practically babies. They're robbed of a chance at a normal life before they can even decide what it is that they'd like to be when they grow up.
"In South Asia, traffickers will pay $150 to parents for their child's life. Brothel owners can purchase the same child from the trafficker for about $1000. For traffickers, sex slavery is a lucrative business, generating over 7 billion dollars a year. Trafficking is often controlled by organized crime syndicates.
Victims of human trafficking are subject to gross human rights violations including rape, torture, beatings, starvation, dehumanization, and threats of murdering family members. In the case of traffficking for sexual exploitation, girls often have their virginity sold first, followed by multiple gang rape to break down their resistance. Since the bodies of young girls are not ready for sexual intercourse, this often results in abrasions, making the girls susceptible to HIV/AIDS and other diseases."
But there is hope for those who have escaped. A grassroots organization called the Emancipation Network was founded to help the survivors of human trafficking get their lives back together.
"We help survivors of slavery rebuild their lives after rescue from slavery, with sustainable income, education and help reintegrating into society. We work to prevent slavery in high risk communities such as red light and refugee communities, by creating jobs for adults and through volunteer trips and donations to our shelter partners for rescue, school fees, emergency needs and reintegration."
The Emancipation Network also help these survivors by teaching them how to make beautiful crafts in order to provide themselves with an income, which is not only beneficial financially, but also proves therapeutic.
One of these gorgeous pieces of jewelry is available to win at The Contest Corner if you are interested.
I hope that you are touched by this.
At any rate, I have learned that worldwide, 27 million people are victims of human trafficking. Now, if you're like the average American, these words are probably just a convenient label for an atrocity you'll never have to face and so dismiss it as unfortunate but not your problem. You hear it in the news, tune out and that's the end of it.
But do me a favor and just imagine how you would feel if these women and children who are exploited, raped, and beaten were women and children in your lives that you cared about. What if it was your mother? Your sister? Your daughter? Aunt, grandmother, best friend? What if it was you?
Approximately half of the people who are on the receiving end of these terrors are under the age of 18. They're still practically babies. They're robbed of a chance at a normal life before they can even decide what it is that they'd like to be when they grow up.
"In South Asia, traffickers will pay $150 to parents for their child's life. Brothel owners can purchase the same child from the trafficker for about $1000. For traffickers, sex slavery is a lucrative business, generating over 7 billion dollars a year. Trafficking is often controlled by organized crime syndicates.
Victims of human trafficking are subject to gross human rights violations including rape, torture, beatings, starvation, dehumanization, and threats of murdering family members. In the case of traffficking for sexual exploitation, girls often have their virginity sold first, followed by multiple gang rape to break down their resistance. Since the bodies of young girls are not ready for sexual intercourse, this often results in abrasions, making the girls susceptible to HIV/AIDS and other diseases."
But there is hope for those who have escaped. A grassroots organization called the Emancipation Network was founded to help the survivors of human trafficking get their lives back together.
"We help survivors of slavery rebuild their lives after rescue from slavery, with sustainable income, education and help reintegrating into society. We work to prevent slavery in high risk communities such as red light and refugee communities, by creating jobs for adults and through volunteer trips and donations to our shelter partners for rescue, school fees, emergency needs and reintegration."
The Emancipation Network also help these survivors by teaching them how to make beautiful crafts in order to provide themselves with an income, which is not only beneficial financially, but also proves therapeutic.
One of these gorgeous pieces of jewelry is available to win at The Contest Corner if you are interested.
I hope that you are touched by this.
Monday, April 13, 2009
"Not Good Enough"
I see you walking on the sidewalk
Down the streets, up the stairs
Checking your reflections in the windows
Every reflection a different fear
A man behind you, a man waiting at home
A man behind the mask
A man holding strings, jerking you up and down
A man behind the glass
where you last check your reflection
where you spot some imperfection
A sad sick moment that screams out
that you're not good enough to be his object
But what I say during this moment
this "not good enough" haze,
is that if that woman mirrored back at me,
that person with my face in her gaze,
isn't good enough to be his object
or the next featured item in a magazine
Then I say the universe has spared me
Through paradox my strength has been saved
I am lucky to be not good enough
for a man who wants to be my identity
I am lucky to be not good enough
for a magazine that puts a price on my body
I am lucky to see myself behind the glass
Down the streets, up the stairs
Checking your reflections in the windows
Every reflection a different fear
A man behind you, a man waiting at home
A man behind the mask
A man holding strings, jerking you up and down
A man behind the glass
where you last check your reflection
where you spot some imperfection
A sad sick moment that screams out
that you're not good enough to be his object
But what I say during this moment
this "not good enough" haze,
is that if that woman mirrored back at me,
that person with my face in her gaze,
isn't good enough to be his object
or the next featured item in a magazine
Then I say the universe has spared me
Through paradox my strength has been saved
I am lucky to be not good enough
for a man who wants to be my identity
I am lucky to be not good enough
for a magazine that puts a price on my body
I am lucky to see myself behind the glass
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