Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Blue Stars Fading Tonight...

So I voted today!!! I'm fucking excited. I feel like such a part of things. And at the same time I have this nervous lump in the pit of my stomach. I swear, if my man Obama doesn't make it in I'm seriously going to cry. Or vomit. Or an uncomely combination of the two. I wish that I didn't have to be so worried about it, but there's no way not to worry. Another 4 years of being jobless and without health insurance might seriously kill me. No joke. I could totally freaking die.
And another thing- I have had this insane fear of automobiles for the majority of my life. It's a hindering phobia, preventing me from ever getting my license and today I finally uncovered the root of it all. My aunt revealed to me that a certain irresponsible grandparent of mine that shall remain nameless (as though it mattered, I don't know anyone on here anyway but eh, you never know...) allowed me to lock myself in her car at a gas station as a very young child and I didn't know how to unlock the doors and a.) let her in or b.) escape the ominous death-trap. Knowing me I was more anxious to do the latter. But now I understand a few of my fears and can hope to overcome them now! I had a flashback as I wrote about it and so my claustrophobia and constant need to be aware of all things around me (there's a word for that I can't think of right now, probably because I just learned it like a week ago and haven't absorbed it yet...) have a root! Yay! I'm not just some freak who picks random things to fear, my fears are founded! So now I know I'm more rational than a conservative republican homophobe. Go me!!!

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